Christian Husbands — How Should We Love our Wives?

We are often derailed from the marriage that Jesus wants for us by our innate desire to protect ourselves.  In a culture steeped in protecting what is ours, too often we husbands apply the world’s wisdom to our relationships and not God’s.  We lose sight of the awesome standard for us as Christian husbands in this flawed world.  It is the complete opposite of what the world says to do.

We are told simply by Paul in his letter to the Ephesians that we are to love our wives as Christ loved the Church.

Do we understand what this means?  Do we really understand what Paul is saying when he sets out that standard?

For a quick reminder look at Philippians 2.

Jesus is God, the maker of the entire universe and the One through whom all things were made.

He is the occupant of the throne of Heaven where He is worshiped continually.  Day and night heaven sings of His greatness, His worthiness, and His power.

Yet, out of obedience and love, He stepped off of that great exalted throne and become fully lowly man.  Jesus willingly subjected Himself to all of the pain and weakness mortal bodies throw at us.

Not only did Jesus become a man, he became a servant.  He became a slave whose rights were violently violated.  He willingly died a death that was reserved for the worst criminals under a brutal and unjust empire of man.  Jesus knew that He was to have nails hammered through His wrists and feet by His creation and He came anyway.

Why did Jesus do it?

For the ones He loved, His bride, the church.  Jesus laid down everything for His church.

He had the right to judge.  He had the right to vengeance and fury.  He had the right to be respected and served.

He chose sacrificial love instead.

This is the type of love we are called to as husbands.

Can we imagine being able to call down a legion of angels to save ourselves from a horrible unjust death and not doing it?

Now can we imagine not calling down those angels for the benefit of those same ones who were killing us?  Most of us don’t like losing in Monopoly, much less an argument, much less willingly submitting to the unjust.

Jesus gave up everything willingly to serve the bride who was acting terribly.

Husbands, this is our example.

How do we like it?  How are we doing with it?

Do we only love our brides well when they are loving us well?  Jesus says that is great but even the tax collectors love the ones who love them.  That is not our example.

Our example is the One who gave up everything, including His own life for people who were spitting on Him, mocking Him, driving spikes through His body.

This is how we husbands are supposed to love our wives. Our love is not contingent on them.  We are required to love whether they are acting well or poorly.  It is daunting to contemplate.

In comparison, how are we doing at loving our wives and families?  How much have we loved our wives?  Are we washing her with the Word?

How about you husband?  Have you expressed love for your bride equal to what Jesus did for you on the Cross?

Yeah, me neither but we can pray to the One who did give everything that He will help us every day become more like Him and do our jobs better.  We can seek to meet the goal the Lord set out for us.

We cannot ever come close to the goal if we are not aware of it.

Love your wives well, husbands, like Jesus loves you.

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