Jesus Does Not Fit into the World’s Patterns
There is an ongoing battle in the church over the issue of Christian manhood. It would not seem to be that hard to answer the question, “What does a Christian man look like?” Many in the church find it impossible to separate their own politics, culture, and social views from their answer. This occurs even when these views are different from what the Bible lays out. As a result, there are too many answers to this question. They are polarizing and strongly contradict each other. More importantly, the worldly definitions of a man who follows Jesus are often exaggerated. These definitions seem one dimensional. They neglect much of what makes Jesus so amazing. These caricatures makes sense for those fitting within the choir they aim to preach to. However, they exclude many strong Christian men who don’t align with the simplified picture they promote. This conflict can be incredibly confusing and alienating for Christian men who are just looking for some direction…yet, the true answer to the question of “What does Christian man look like?” is really so much better and simpler than any of the worldly pictures.
Jesus is the One who embodies the perfect picture of what it means to be a man following God.
His example provides the perfect pattern for the mature Christian man to model himself after. It also reveals the weaknesses of the stereotypes, the rigid absolutes, and the world’s reactionary views of manhood. Jesus’ life is what every man should want his life to mirror. In other words, there is no need to try to be a soldier, advocate, or ally. There is no need to emulate John Wayne, Tim Tebow, or Jimmy Carter. You don’t have to follow any other lesser picture of a Christian, a word that means “little Christ”. If you want to know what it means to be a Christian man, you only need to look to Jesus.
Here are 13 Bible verses with short commentary to get you started.
1 – Christian Manhood is a Call to Unselfishly Lead and Protect
John 10:11-16
I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them. The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep. I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own. As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. And other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also I must bring, and they will hear My voice; and there will be one flock and one shepherd.
Leadership is always going to be a part of the call for Christian men. However, their way of leading is very different from that of the world. The Good Shepherd, Jesus, had great authority and power. He always used them to care for and help the sheep. He did not Lord over them. A Christian man is called to lay down his life out of love for others. A shepherd lovingly cares for his sheep, he never harms them intentionally.
2 – Christian Maturity Doesn’t Treat Emotions as Weakness
Luke 19:41-44
Now as He drew near, He saw the city and wept over it, saying, “If you had known, even you, especially in this your day, the things that make for your peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. For days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment around you, surround you and close you in on every side, and level you, and your children within you, to the ground; and they will not leave in you one stone upon another, because you did not know the time of your visitation.
Jesus was not the strong and silent type. He was not a distant, gruff, and unemotional figure. He was every bit the perfect example with strength beyond your comprehension. Yet, He was not afraid to feel things deeply. He was comfortable showing emotion. His tears here were a sign of His great love. They did not show weakness. Even though the word for tears in this passage indicates loud, passionate weeping. Jesus openly wept without shame or fear out of love for the people who rejected Him.
A man can be less expressive and not wear his heart on his sleeve. That is ok too. But Jesus wept, so there is nothing at all wrong with men doing so as well.
3 – Tenderness is a Strength as a Christian Man
Luke 13:34-35
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, but you were not willing! See! Your house is left to you desolate; and assuredly, I say to you, you shall not see Me until the time comes when you say, ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!’
You probably have been to a men’s conference. You may have been called to act like men from the pulpit. This definition often relates to great warriors of the Old Testament. It also connects to tough guys from literature or film. I have frequently heard references to William Wallace (aka Mel Gibson) in the Christian manosphere. He is often pitched as the embodiment of manliness. Yet, this very simplistic definition misses out on so much of what makes Jesus amazing. In these verses, you see how Jesus longed to treat His people like a mother hen. He wanted to shelter and nurture his children. His own words express how He is tender and gentle with His people. This kindness and compassion defines much of His ministry, while in no way diminishing His strength and leadership. Jesus calls His men to have the same care and concern for those around them.
4 – Christian Manhood Provides a Safe Space for Questions and is Unafraid of Doubt
John 20: 23-28
So he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.”
And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, “Peace to you!” Then He said to Thomas, “Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.”
And Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!”
“You must believe or you are in trouble”.
“How dare you question God”
“That question is disrespectful”
These messages were overt or implied. People raised in the church received them from their leaders. This happened when they had questions or doubts. They often internalized their issues in response. This left them either unhappy in the faith or they left the faith when they could. Doubt is not a good thing. But, for example, Jesus was not angry at Thomas. He was not afraid of Thomas’ refusal to believe. Jesus did not shun Thomas or treat him badly, despite Thomas’ stubborn refusal to believe the other disciples. Rather, Jesus showed up, saw Thomas’ struggles, loved him, and offered Thomas more of Himself. The One who had the most right of all to be offended welcomed Thomas. He showed mercy and grace instead of rejecting and scorning Thomas. How could you do anything different.
5 – Christian Manhood is Known by Your Love, as defined by God
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails
This is the section of Scripture that changed my whole view of myself as a new Christian. I thought I was doing pretty well as a man, husband, father, and disciple. My pride was allowing me to deflect everything that argued otherwise. Then a pastor taught on these verses. He invited me to insert my name in place of love in the passage. This was to test and see whether I was loving like Jesus intends. The Holy Spirit did not allow me past patient and kind. A huge amount of conviction hit me. My pride was thankfully crushed.
This is God’s definition of love. You are known by your love. I would invite you to do the same test.
6 – Christian Manhood is Humble and Filled with Empathy and Mercy
John 8: 2-6
Now early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people came to Him; and He sat down and taught them. Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?” This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear.
Have you thought about why Jesus stoops down and writes in the dirt at this moment? The Bible doesn’t explain His motivation. However, the reason for doing so is there if you look. It is wonderful. The woman caught in adultery is likely at the lowest point in her life. God made her for so much more than this. However, her life and choices have led her to this point. She is not only clearly caught in sin, but also treated as a prop by the religious leaders. They are disgusted with her and only seek to use her to get something on Jesus. You cannot get lower than that…and there is the point of stooping. Jesus stops teaching the crowd. He gets low down in the dirt. He changes His literal position to match her spiritual condition. Jesus humbled Himself, the word in Greek means get low, to meet her in her terrible condition…and then He protects her and shows her love, mercy, and grace.
This should be the model of how Christian men interact with the world. It is especially important when dealing with the lost, hurting, sinful, and outcast. A Christian man should never be sitting apart from those in pain on a throne of his own making. He should not be coldly judging or loudly condemning. That was the crowd who were seeking to stone the woman. Jesus calls men to get low with people, love them, and seek to gently lead them out of the darkness.
7 – Christian Manhood Seeks to Redeem and Protect
John 8 (continued)
So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”
She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.
Jesus came to seek and save the lost. He died for you while you were still His enemy. He then gave you the same mission. By definition, this mission includes loving the lost, sinful, spiritually ugly, hateful, and unchurched as the goal. Jesus went down in the dirt to pull the adulterous woman out of the depths of her own bad decisions. You are called to do the same, with the same humility, mercy, and tender love. A mature Christian man does not write people off because of their sin because Jesus never does.
8 – Christian Manhood is Close to the Outcasts
Matthew 8: 1-3
When He had come down from the mountain, great multitudes followed Him. And behold, a leper came and worshiped Him, saying, “Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean.”
Then Jesus put out His hand and touched him, saying, “I am willing; be cleansed.” Immediately his leprosy was cleansed.
Jesus demonstrates that He has the power over sickness by healing the leper. But Jesus makes a further important statement in touching him in the process. Jesus loves the man deeply. This love causes Him to bridge the gap between His perfection and the man’s fallen state. He shows the man intimate affection. Jesus loves the man and stays with him. His presence is not marred by the man’s past, despite how the world has treated him.
There is a time where wisdom calls you to separate from people or activities that are bringing down your Christian walk. However, being a Christian man after God’s own heart means reaching out in love to all those around us, even those who seem untouchable.
9 – Christian Manhood is Gentle, Approachable, and Present
Mark 10:13-16
Then they brought little children to Him, that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them.
I grew up in a time when men in positions of authority were generally pretty scary. Many of them had fought in wars and seen hard times. They viewed their jobs as enforcing rules and toughening kids up. This was so that we could face the cold world that awaited us. You did not want to be sent to the male Principal’s office. Asking a male police officer was also avoided. This was because you expected nothing but toughness and swift justice. It was a time when “children were to be seen and not heard.” This was a common expression and often the societal expectation.
Jesus is not like that. All power and authority are in Him. He welcomes little children who come to Him. He values and defends them. Jesus appreciates the smallest among us and so should we.
10 – Christian Manhood is Strong and Loves Justice
Revelation 19: 11-16
Now I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse. And He who sat on him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. His eyes were like a flame of fire, and on His head were many crowns. He had a name written that no one knew except Himself. He was clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God. And the armies in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, followed Him on white horses. Now out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it He should strike the nations. And He Himself will rule them with a rod of iron. He Himself treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And He has on His robe and on His thigh a name written:
KING OF KINGS AND
LORD OF LORDS.
There is no need to put love and justice or strength and mercy in opposition to one another with Jesus. He loves justice. He will return as the rider on the white horse at the appointed time. He will destroy all evil. He will call the oppressors, exploiters, thieves, and warlords to account for their sins. Jesus is strong beyond imagination. His defeat of huge armies will not be hard for Him when the time comes. Yet, until the time comes, Jesus shows His strength through His role as Savior. He acts as Redeemer, loving the world. Jesus offers forgiveness and showers people with mercy. Jesus did not fit the world’s version of strength and was not the worldly version of Messiah.
A Christian man, therefore, desires justice. He seeks to be strong. He patterns himself after Jesus and follows His plan. In other words, you follow Paul’s exhortation:
1 Corinthians 16: 13-14
Be on the alert. Stand firm in the faith. Be men of courage. Be strong. Do everything in love.
11 – Christian Manhood Means Leading by Humbly Serving
John 13:2-5
And supper being ended, the devil having already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray Him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded.
The contrast between the world’s view of manhood and that of Jesus is stark during the Last Supper. The disciples around Jesus’ table spent precious time on the night of His betrayal arguing with each other. They debated who is the greatest and refused to swallow their pride. They want to be strong, powerful, first, and master of all things. Jesus responds to their silliness by demonstrating what real leadership and godly strength looks like by putting Himself in the position of the lowest servant and washing their feet. Jesus then makes His message even clearer:
John 13:12-5
So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.
You want to be Jesus’ man? Be willing to wash feet like He did.
12 – Christian Manhood is Defined by Doing God’s Will
Luke 22:42-44
And He was withdrawn from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.
This is the core of Christian manhood – no matter how difficult it seems, seek to follow Jesus.
13 – A Mature Christian Man Cherishes the Redeemed
Luke 7: 46-48
You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”
Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
The desire to follow Jesus well can easily become something unintended. Jesus never means for you to have this outlook on other Christians. Jesus saves you through grace. It is a free gift not based on your work. He also maintains you through grace. However, the human desire to measure performance can become overpowering. Wanting to live for oneself can shift your focus. This change can turn your walk with Him into a constant demand for performance. You spend your time with Jesus filling out an imaginary report card. You evaluate how you think you and others perform in the Kingdom. This can seem righteous until you realize Jesus did not save you for this purpose. It is also not what He values. Additionally, it usurps His job as Lord and Master.
Who are you to judge the servants of someone else? It is their own Master who will decide whether they succeed or fail. Romans 14:4
Your job is not to be focused on the past, on your performance or that of others, or filling out job performance for people over which you are not boss. Your job is to keep your eyes on Jesus and what He values and follow Him moment to moment.
Do you want to be a great Christian man and advance His Kingdom? The pattern for doing so is really simple to see, but so much more than anything the world has to offer – act like Jesus. There is no better example and no better Lord and Savior.
